Arrogance

At one time in my life, I thought I disdained those who were arrogant. I fought against them mentally and spiritually until....Until I found that I was not only arrogant, but ignorant. How could that be? It was a fine line I walked between arrogance and confidence. I did not even have the sense to recognize that I was being arrogant. My husband had to point it out. He was right! How could I have been so perceptive while I was drowning in my own ignorance? It really doesn't matter what the situation was....there are so many times when we think we are right. We know better than others. And we have no compunction telling them so. As if we were deemed the discoverers of the truth....

My baby sister is a hard worker. A good person. Yet, sometimes because she elevates me to a position of greatness which I usually disdain, sometimes, yes, sometimes, I rise to her expectations and today was no exception. I flatly told her that not going to Mass was a mortal sin and that she evidently did not know enough about our church. Whoa! Who also did not go to Mass today? Who also struggles with not wanting to get dressed, hold other people's hands, and pray in a group? What was the motivation for me to essentially put her down with my statements? Were those statements helpful? Did they create an atmosphere for valor? I don't think so. They stemmed from my own insecurity and ignorance about my faith. I struggle, so why not engage others in this struggle?

Of course, that was not my intent overtly. Something deep down - call it insecurity - caused me to puff up with my knowledge to put down another human being. I was so blind I did not even realize what I was doing until it was pointed out to me. Immediately, I called her and apologized for my arrogance....and the urge to blame it on her was strong - yes, she elevates me to this position and finally I am using it. NO! I cannot allow this type of thinking to endure. I must take responsibility for my thoughts and actions. I can only expect clemency when I am able to dole it out as well.

A few prayers later I feel a bit better about admitting I am a mere weak human. I am a work in progress...deep breath. Sigh. And a promise to do better when communicating with those whom I love and who love me. Forgive me for my weakness, for my ignorance, and for my arrogance...

You thought you had problems?

https://www.amyoes.com/2016/06/17/tedx-video/

My First TEDx Talk (And How I Got It) – A Detour is Not a Dead End…27 Surgeries Later

by Amy | Jun 17, 2016 

How in the world can I complain when there are valiant others in the world making the best of their dire circumstances?

From a happy-go-lucky musical theatre teen, to surviving sexual abuse, a coma, six years without food or drink, and 27 surgeries, it’s been a very long, detoured journey, and it still isn’t over yet.

But what makes the journey meaningful, and ultimately rewarding, is the ability to share, and know that you can possibly help someone through their own “detours.” Something I’ve learned over time, is that a Detour is Not a Dead End – which was the title of my first TEDx Talk!  I gave my TEDx Talk this April, and finally…it’s out!

Giving the talk was a thrilling experience.  Even being such a shameless musical theatre ham that I am, this was the most nervous I’ve ever been.  Actually, I didn’t realize how nervous I was until I was done…and I started basically hyperventilating!

This amazing young woman has inspired that I honor her by giving her space on this blog. Read it. Listen to her and start looking at life's challenges as mere detours to lasting happiness. It is your choice. You are the one responsible for your own happiness. Bravo, Amy!

"At the moment you are completely satisfied." 1 Corinthians 4:8

You can imagine my surprise when I read the daily scripture from my phone app (Laudate) and this is the quote for today. Hum, and how does this apply to me? Those of you who know me well realize that I fluctuate in mini highs and mini lows and today and this week have been mostly those mini lows. And now I read that I am completely satisfied.....Upon looking at my life, I should be ashamed to be anything but upbeat, happy, and grateful! I have a wonderful home with loving children, a husband who has been by my side for more than 40 years and a wonderful opportunity to be retired, yet able to go out and counsel women and children - what in the world do I have to complain about or be sad about????

NOTHING

 

I should be on my knees thanking the Almighty for the gifts he has shared with me, but like most Americans, I want more. When I get what I pray for, I find that it is not really what I wanted - there is something else somewhere else that I crave now. But this is the time to stop that sort of thinking and time to be in the moment and enjoy what I have. So what if someone was disrespectful to me? I have ears to hear those words and a brain in which to file them away. I have legs that can carry me to others who will welcome my company and I can lounge in my beautiful and comfortable home. I can thank the Lord for my health so far and thank Him for giving me the opportunities to travel and be with long lost friends and new ones as well. And nothing can stop me. .. .Nothing. Not words or actions or slights however so small.

 

Those deep dark feelings that threaten to encapsulate my being and send me to a trail of tears no longer have a hold on me. They may have temporarily this week, but I am aware of their façade and will not let them own me.



Controlling your emotions

Easier said than done, especially if you are raised in a very emotional Latin family! Our family runs at the speed of lightening and everything is a drama. I'm simply exhausted thinking about it. Enter hubby and my entire life changed right before their very eyes!

You don't have passion anymore.
He's changed you (as if that were a bad thing).
Don't you love us anymore?

Whoa! I am just capable of living without all that drama now. And it feels really good. As a matter of fact, it feels wonderful and freeing. Deep breath, sigh, and exhale. Yes, it's so much better to be in control.

Even when someone is disrespectful or uncaring. Now I can look at that person and think, "Poor thing! She must really hurt to want to do that to me! I wonder what happened to her as a little girl?"

And the scenario is automatically NOT about me any longer and I can control my wonderful, happy feelings, even in the midst of gross disrespect and distrust. Definitely freeing! Why don't you try it? Run over to my blog @ www.masabi.org and find out more about living a joyous life....

Words and meanings....

Today my husband called me from the auto repair shop and asked me to come get him and I heard this, "I want to go to the Stonefront...." Well, there is a tavern on the south side of town that is named the Stonefront Tavern, so I gleefully got dressed, put on some makeup, fixed my hair, and hopped into the car to go get him and have some fun.

When he started telling me where to go, I realized that was not the way to the tavern, to which I commented, "Just where are we going?" He replied that we were going to look at stones for our front yard - operative words STONES and FRONT! OMG! Yes, he said those words but they had completely different meanings to each of us.

And isn't that the way it is in life? We attach meaning to words others use and sometimes, yes, sometimes and maybe even oftentimes, we misinterpret those words. It may behoove us to listen carefully and even ask questions so that we might communicate in a fuller and truer sense. No more guessing what he means - next time I will say, "You mean the tavern where we can get great steaks?" NO misunderstanding will occur then....

Just sayin'....

K is for knowing. I know that I feel better when I am positive and when I am filled with love. Nothing else matters. And I know that God is love, so when I love, I am communing with our God and what could be better?

It is definitely not easy. I wasn't raised to depend on and love our God actively. We were passive Christians. We did x and y and we called ourselves Christians. Catholics, to be exact. Yet what did that mean to us? To me? Sadly, very little. It was just what was. Just like I was going to go to college when I got out of high school.

It's just something I was taught. I didn't think about it a lot. And when I got to college, I had no clue what I was doing or where I was going. I find that I am in that mindset presently about God and eternal life. I haven't really prepared much for this time in my life - retirement, in which I have lots of time to think.

What does it mean to give your life to Christ? I think it means far more than not missing Mass or not eating meat on Fridays - I think it means becoming one with God by loving ourselves and others. Those "rules" are nice, but a saint they do not make. At least in my book. And who is to say my book is right or wrong? Just thinking out loud here....